A Eunuch's Love Life

The more personally intimate blog of the love life of an androgynous but not sexless eunuch in this post-modern world

Friday, March 17, 2006

the end of androgyny?

IN response to the "Smell of Friendly Man" post at my general blog (I May Well Be..), Anonymous said...

dear norrie-may,it was with some sadness i read of your current distress over the lack of a meaningful relationship in your life. i've followed your web site for a while, and we even met briefly at uwa about 25 years ago.

now i don't want to be hard, but it seems a bit rich to complain of lack of sexual attention when you've gone out of your way to remove (or not add) any distinguishing sexual characteristics. or more bluntly, with no tits and no dick it's no wonder the phone ain't ringing.

i'm reminded of plastic surgeons who cut off the occasional additional toe or finger that crops up in newborns. this procedure is often entirely cosmetic, with some attendant risk from the anaesthesia. but six fingers is a huge turn off for many people. so you either turn the child into a postergirl to educate the world about how silly it is to be turned off by six fingers, or you cut it off. so i suppose you've done your best to educate the world how silly it is to be constrained by notions of male/female, though at an individual level it still seem the best advice for anyone who changes gender is to go all out for it. fabulous tits, muscular arms, whatever. stack on those secondary sexual characteristics, get yourself a date and someone who'll care for you.

regards,

christopher

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I think Christopher may well be right.

If I want to play the game, I have to have the right equipment.

This may be my Lenten journey, going towards the end of my hormone-free body, to be recast with secondary sex characterstics into a new life with more possiblities.

I am trying not to make a decision until Mercury stops its retrograde movement (March 26), but I am already grieving the end of my androgynous body. Or perhaps I am just grieving its lack of sexual attractiveness. It tried so hard. It's gone from blobby eunuch to athleticly toned trim flexible dancer, and it has partied, danced, done shows, networked, socialised, and so on, but without attracting a single spark of sexual interest.

It may well be that time is up for it, the fifteen year experiment concluded, the conclusion that I can't be sexually attractive without secondary sexual characteristics, and I need to be sexually attractive, so bring on those hormones doctor.

Life is change.

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