I kept my self distracted by composing a long rambling SMS message on my phone as I travelled to the beach, and was rewarded for persisting through the tears. A short time after I had lain down, still crying, with my hat pulled over my eyes so that people could easily avoid my sobbing, a guy came over and said he had met me fifteen years ago, and spent a couple of days at my place. I worked out that this had been over seventeen years ago, for he remembered me having a la-lu, but the important thing is: he still fancied me! He was with his boyfriend, who got pretty jealous pretty quickly, but I was very glad for the flattery of his flirting.
I had just been contemplating taking up tobacco again, to mask the pain of having no hope of being loved, but I reckon I can survive without it a bit longer now. Some gay men CAN fancy someone like me . I'm off to the sauna at Rydalmere now, and I think I'll even be OK if there is no lover for me there tonight, and even better if there is!
"Taking the path of least persistence is the most direct route to failure." ~ Rayoa