A Eunuch's Love Life

The more personally intimate blog of the love life of an androgynous but not sexless eunuch in this post-modern world

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

no shit for me please, thank you very much all the same

So, after braving the intimidation of the staff, manager and armed police, to establish beyond a doubt that I had the right to enter cruising spaces no matter what my gender or sex, I've established that the Pleasure Chest is not at all my personal cup of tea.

I went there again last Sunday afternoon, and started feeling uncomfortable straight away. I think there are many different agendas we classify as "sex", but they are not necessarily very similar or compatible. It seems that most guys are there for physical release only, and want to avoid any kind of emotional or intellectual engagement, and I at least need to feel that I am liked by my sex partner if I am to enjoy sexual arrousal.

The porn screen showed a girl being screwed by a muscley stud, with the camera taking his point of view entirely. All well and good, I like the guys getting into that mind set, cos that's what I want to be on the other end of thank you. Then he whips it out of her muff and up the coit. Anal sex, fine, I'm no prude there, having used that aperture before my vagina was excavated. But then they go straight from anal to fellatio YUUUK! No condom, no wash, she's just there to serve his pleasure, and it's not even a consideration that he is making her eat shit, because her health, pleasure, desire, independent will or human dignity are just not in existence at all in the world on the screen or the atmosphere this porn creates.

That's the exact sort of man I want to avoid being naked or vulnerable with, or at all close to, that is, a guy so focussed entirely on his own pleasure that his partner's health or safety may be easily compromised, unless she is focussed every moment on protecting herself from his thoughtlessness backed up by the strength of sexual arousal, poking his rough dirty fingernails where he's been told specifically they can't go, grabbing roughly, and generally acting more like he's trying to win a wresting match or prove his physical domination than engage in anything you could call making love.

I mean, I'm not planning on a four course wedding party at these places, just someone who'll engage in pleasurable, not painful or physically disgusting, intimate contact, and who'll like me for the time we are together, and be considerate of me as human being like himself. Not anyone who expects me to eat shit from their dick. Dick yes, Shit no. Thanks very much all the same, but no, thanks.

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