A Eunuch's Love Life

The more personally intimate blog of the love life of an androgynous but not sexless eunuch in this post-modern world

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

In Between

Here I sit, in between youth and old age, between male and female, between Christianity and Anarchy, between fat and skinny, in between and touching both sides at once, in between the ego and the All, in between reactive fear and daring all for Love, in between the counter culture and the violent stupid hairless gorillas, in between loving all humanity and misanthropy, in between being a flamboyant dancing star and a bookish social cripple. In between a Platonic relationship and a beautiful loving and fulfilling relationship. In between seeing how old and wrinkly and gravity shaped I am, and seeing how radiantly beautiful I am when I look with love. In between sabotaging my chances with boys by thinking about past failures, and experiencing the more enjoyable flirting I get when I look on the world with love. In between pre-post modernism and the bright new world. No, that’s flogging it, should’ve quit with “flirting I get when I look on the world with love”, but didn’t want to be revealed as self-obessed dirty old queen. In between expecting more of myself and being okay with myself as I am. In between, and in both sides at once. Present, in between the past and the future. Between a single thought and the collective minds of humanity. Ohm Nama Shiva. I’m sorry, I’ll read that again.

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