I’m a hottie!
The music got sexier and flirtier, but everyone I fancied was partnered, and worse, their partners were with them. I decided I was tired of flirtation that could go nowhere, and made my focus more abstract, and projected love generally but to no one in particular as I danced.
A newly single friend flirted with me a little, but I realized I wasn't really in to him at the moment, and made like a butterfly.
A few folk tried flirting with me, but I didn't extend these interactions. I had a few other dedicated dancers to dance with amongst the dancefloor, and put my focus on the dance, and forgot the flirting, for as far as I could see there was no one available who I really really fancied, and I was determine not to waste my energies on the best of what was available if it wasn't really what I wanted intimately,
After midnight, I sat down to take a break, and roll a cigarette. I noticed a gorgeous guy sitting just across the corner from me. My whole body smiled, and I managed to look just a little longer before averting my eyes and going coy. He lept in, and asked if he could share a smoke with me, to fudge a detail or two.
I once really enjoyed having a lover suckle on my nipples, but this hadn't happened for so long I had forgotten, until I was in bliss looking at him looking at me while he suckled at my teat. Oh, and I've got sticky tights I may never wash again ; )
It's all very modern; He's pretty much straight (and oh so vaginagenic ; ) but seemed to enjoy excercising the sexual morals only gay people had in my younger years, happy to play and share pleasure without gender games and exploitation struggles. He asked to get into myspace. I mean, he asked to be invited into myspace.. the internet myspace… ahem.. anyway, he asked that too : D
And however it goes, and he's really really cute and smart and good humoured and oooh not a little bit dead sexy as far as my personal prefs go, but anyway, however it goes with him in particular, the point for me now is that I have what it takes to be in the right place, attracting the right attention, and even get past the first flirt to a blissful bit of heavy petting and an SMS exchange with someone as hot as this cutie.
I'm hot baby, and finally over the fact that maybe 98% of Western humans are too hung up on gender expectations or whatever to see that frankly God, within (amongst other factors) my genes, nearly thirty years of dancing, ten years of yoga, and five of Tibetan rites, and some attitude adjustments ; ) has done a very good job of making me an exotically sexually attractive human.
I've been creeping around a bit timidly, shy of the gender-based rejections and threats of violence once so common in my twenties. But no more! Cool people love me. Hip people love me. Young alternative scene people love me. I'm hot in the It crowd. Actually, I'm It in the It crowd, but I'm not alone in that Itness there ; )
Yeah, this and a few other things recently have given me my confidence back. Sexual confidence, that is. I'm wearing a lot more red!