A Eunuch's Love Life

The more personally intimate blog of the love life of an androgynous but not sexless eunuch in this post-modern world

Monday, August 27, 2007

I’m a hottie!

Saturday night, Medium Rare Gallery, scene of the party where I had met my best friend three and a half years ago, now a colourful decadent dress up party, and clearly the IT party of Sydney, with almost all of my talented iconoclastic friends there. Except for my best friend, which may be occasionally a good thing, for maybe I don't notice other boys as much if he is around, and I was aiming to have sexual contact.

The music got sexier and flirtier, but everyone I fancied was partnered, and worse, their partners were with them. I decided I was tired of flirtation that could go nowhere, and made my focus more abstract, and projected love generally but to no one in particular as I danced.

A newly single friend flirted with me a little, but I realized I wasn't really in to him at the moment, and made like a butterfly.

A few folk tried flirting with me, but I didn't extend these interactions. I had a few other dedicated dancers to dance with amongst the dancefloor, and put my focus on the dance, and forgot the flirting, for as far as I could see there was no one available who I really really fancied, and I was determine not to waste my energies on the best of what was available if it wasn't really what I wanted intimately,

After midnight, I sat down to take a break, and roll a cigarette. I noticed a gorgeous guy sitting just across the corner from me. My whole body smiled, and I managed to look just a little longer before averting my eyes and going coy. He lept in, and asked if he could share a smoke with me, to fudge a detail or two.

I once really enjoyed having a lover suckle on my nipples, but this hadn't happened for so long I had forgotten, until I was in bliss looking at him looking at me while he suckled at my teat. Oh, and I've got sticky tights I may never wash again ; )

It's all very modern; He's pretty much straight (and oh so vaginagenic ; ) but seemed to enjoy excercising the sexual morals only gay people had in my younger years, happy to play and share pleasure without gender games and exploitation struggles. He asked to get into myspace. I mean, he asked to be invited into myspace.. the internet myspace… ahem.. anyway, he asked that too : D

And however it goes, and he's really really cute and smart and good humoured and oooh not a little bit dead sexy as far as my personal prefs go, but anyway, however it goes with him in particular, the point for me now is that I have what it takes to be in the right place, attracting the right attention, and even get past the first flirt to a blissful bit of heavy petting and an SMS exchange with someone as hot as this cutie.

I'm hot baby, and finally over the fact that maybe 98% of Western humans are too hung up on gender expectations or whatever to see that frankly God, within (amongst other factors) my genes, nearly thirty years of dancing, ten years of yoga, and five of Tibetan rites, and some attitude adjustments ; ) has done a very good job of making me an exotically sexually attractive human.

I've been creeping around a bit timidly, shy of the gender-based rejections and threats of violence once so common in my twenties. But no more! Cool people love me. Hip people love me. Young alternative scene people love me. I'm hot in the It crowd. Actually, I'm It in the It crowd, but I'm not alone in that Itness there ; )

Yeah, this and a few other things recently have given me my confidence back. Sexual confidence, that is. I'm wearing a lot more red!

: D

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Having A Moment

I connected sexually, tantric bliss coarsing through me, joy from being connected with the swelling bulge under my hand under his hand, for he had been holding my hand through the streets and now indoors, and he had put my hand on his thigh, high, then higher, then I felt the stirring, actual, real, unfaked sexual interest in me, and I didn't know where things stood with his boyfriend, how free he was to be with me, so I had to stay with the present, just be present for this moment, this bliss, as my spirit soars and I am open to his energy and there is no separation between me and the rest of reality.

I am whole, fulfilled, Joy and Ecstacy.

Just feeling the feeling from the feeling and the feelings between us.

Does he know what my body is? I wonder why I wonder, for I'm pretty sure he does.

Will there be a progression?

Well, my life is not fated with predictablility, but blessed with love in all forms, and whether this particular manifestation of divine Love is someone I even more intimately connect with, or rather, connect with with less clothes and inhibitions ; ) or whether I have this intimate connection first with some other outlandishly attractive, outrageously gifted, divinely present and keenly intelligent young man, I know that not only will I long have the memory of that ecstatic blossoming, touching just the tips of two fingers on the thick cloth of his pants, feeling the warmth radiating like a blast furnace from that bulge, touching him on one level with just two fingers, but touching him on the feeling level with my whole being, feeling his whole being, breathing him in, giving him my breath, and being wholly filled with bliss and peace and joy, not only do I have this moment, but more importantly, I am now confident that that this will happen again, this bliss is mine, this sexual bliss is my human due, this spiritual/sexual connection is now in my life, a happy tantric life is mine, and I am now blessed with all the love I need and want.

Not just the Dancer in the Dance, but Dancing, in the Dancing, with another Dancer, Um, Dancing Squared, if you follow.. no words really...

As in that moment, sitting side by side, breathing together with our whole beings/ being..

Having a Moment...

Ah! Bliss!

Bless!

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Friday, August 10, 2007

Australian Trans people Denied Passports by Minister for Foreign Affairs

Australian Trans people Denied Passports by Minister for Foreign Affairs

The Australian Minister for Foreign Affairs Alexander Downer in May 2007 signed an order to stop many of the Australia’s trans community from obtaining a passport in the gender in which they live, unless they have had genital surgery.

This means that transsexual people in transition would have to travel aboard with a passport of the opposite gender to which they are presenting or with a Document of Identity which states their name but does not disclose any sex or gender identity. This even applies to someone travelling overseas for the express purpose of completing their transsexual surgery (Breast surgery is common in Australiabut genital surgery is often carried out outside Australia). Some intersex, transsexual or transsexed people cannot have any surgery for medical reasons including heart condition, liver and kidney problems, cancer or AIDS or simply not being able to afford treatment.

Transgender people who do not want to have genital surgery will also now have to travel on a passport which will read the opposite sex and gender to which they present or with a DOI which will make them stand out ie by not having a passport. These people will now not be able to travel outside Australiasafely and anonymously, making them susceptible to abuse, violence, and discrimination abroad. This change in the law was brought about by the Howard government without any community, medical, healthcare or public consultation. It is an act of violence against the transgender community by the Howard government to please the arch conservative right-wing voters in the run up to election. It is a hate crime.

Sign SAGE’s petition to campaign for a passport review at www.petitiononline.com/sagepass/petition.html

international signatories very welcome)


Contact your MP

Send a letter to the Australian Minster for Foreign Affairs, Canberra

Send this email to a friend and any networks you are on.

Thank you!
 

Sex And Gender Education (SAGE)

Campaigning for the rights of all sex and gender diverse people in Australia

www.sageaustralia.org

See related article:

http://evolutionpublishing.com.au/sxnews/features/danger-zone.aspx

SX News, 9 August 2007

Danger Zone
An amendment to the passport legislation to plug a loophole allowing same-sex marriage compromises trans people's safety. Katrina Fox reports.

Two weeks ago, a pre-operative trans woman, Stefanie Imbruglia (singer Natalie's cousin), went to the Australian Passport Office in Sydney to obtain a temporary passport showing her sex as female, which would allow her to travel to Thailand for genital realignment surgery. She didn't anticipate any problems, since hundreds of trans people before her had successfully applied for and received such interim passports as a matter of course. However, in what she describes as a "twilight zone moment", things went awry: she was subjected to a passport officer insisting on calling her 'Sir' when she was presenting as obviously female, and denied a passport that reflects her gender identity.

"I handed my documentation across to him [and] almost immediately, he referred to me as 'Sir', but the first two times, I thought I was just hearing things," Imbruglia recalls. "He then told me that I could not get a passport with the letter 'F. I asked to see where I couldn't in writing and he went away for about five minutes or so."

Upon his return, the passport officer, still referring to Imbruglia as 'Sir', handed her a copy of the July 2007 issue of Passport News, an internal newsletter for staff, with a story titled 'Transgender Passport Applicants: New Policy'.

The story, seen by SX, states that the Foreign Minister, Alexander Downer, signed an amendment to the passport legislation in May this year that disallows trans people to obtain a passport in their "intended sex". Applicants may obtain a passport stating the sex on their birth certificate or be issued with a Document of Identity (DOI), which states their new name and the fact they are an Australian citizen, but does not disclose their sex.

This piece of legislation was slipped through without any consultation with the trans community and has caused an uproar with trans advocacy groups and professionals who work with trans people. Sex and gender specialist psychotherapist, Dr Tracie O'Keefe DCH, tried unsuccessfully for a week to get Downer's office to supply full documentation on the new amendment and lambasted him for putting trans people wishing to travel overseas in danger.

"This will put members of the trans community in danger when they are travelling because they will not have a passport that matches their gender presentation," O'Keefe told SX. "The psychological damage as well as the security risk to
these already vulnerable people will be enormous."

Information officer at the Gender Centre NSW, Katherine Cummings, agreed. "Our clientele are forced to carry documentation which doesn't include their innate gender, leaving them open to be harassed in customs areas."

Imbruglia's case has been taken on by lobby group Sex and Gender Education (SAGE) which is planning a campaign and online petition. Spokesperson Norrie May-Welby told SX: "You can't travel with breasts and 'male' on your passport and this is what Downer is making trannies do. A DOI creates fuss and bother and someone travelling overseas doesn't need that. They could be travelling through fundamentalist countries or just going through high-security post-9/11, where if there's something out of the ordinary, they can target someone. It's most unfair to single trans people out to travel with dodgy paperwork."

The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade said the purpose of the amendment was to "strengthen the integrity and security of Australian passports", arguing that only the State and Territory Registrars of Births, Deaths and Marriages and the Department of Immigration and Citizenship have the legislated power to amend records when people have satisfied their requirements to record a change of gender.

"It would be inconsistent ... for the Department to continue to issue passports, albeit limited in validity, to persons in a sex other than that shown in the records held by the State or Territory BDM Registrar or the Department of Immigration and Citizenship," a spokesperson told SX.

Trans activists, however, have suggested that that the move was precipitated by the government wanting to plug a loophole which could open the door to same-sex marriage.

A post-operative trans woman has a case pending in the Administrative Appeals Tribunal (AAT) in which she is suing the federal government for refusing to grant her a female passport because she is still legally married to a woman. The trans woman married her female partner using her male birth certificate. She is challenging the federal government on the grounds that it was out of its jurisdiction by taking any other information from the birth certificate apart from residency. If she wins the case, she and her partner will be the first legally recognised same-sex married couple in Australia. But this new amendment to the passport legislation now gives the government power to ask for more information for a passport, including sex and nationality.

As for Imbruglia, the change in law leaves her fearing for her safety. "I'm now unsure about my travel to Thailand," she told SX. "I have two options: go with M on my passport which I don't want or travel with a DOI with no sex written on it. So basically I'm forced not to have a passport, so my peace of mind has been shattered and I shouldn't be in that position."

To join SAGE's campaign and sign the online petition, visit www.sageaustralia.org   

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Every breath you take

"Every cigarette taeks you closer to..."

Every breath you take takes you closer to deah.

So, should i stop breathing?

Or enjoy instead my quality of life, even as it takes me closer to death?