A Eunuch's Love Life

The more personally intimate blog of the love life of an androgynous but not sexless eunuch in this post-modern world

Monday, July 21, 2008

A Profitable and Grand Adventure

Wednesday night, struggling to stay interested after nearly two hours on killer heels standing on William St, just had a joint, and a man asks if she'll meet him in his hotel room, travelling separately, so she takes the proffered hotel swipe card and ten bucks cab fare, and manages to get an address that is only the room number, hotel name, and street name.

Her cab cannot drop her off at the hotel, as there are late-night roadworks blocking the city centre, but the direction he points her in turns out to be woefully wrong. One of her shoes loses its rubber sole as she exits the cab, and she nearly slips over crossing the street, but manages to re-assert her balance on the slippery slate surface. "How do I not fall over?" one internal voice asks her. "Because I'm fucking amazing," answers another.

The workmen are looking at her, she knows, men always look, and she is the only female around, not to mention looking like a cartoon hooker, decked up on seven-inch platform stilettos and a long fur coat, on a mission that is exactly what it looks like.

The roadworks force her to take a long diversion around town, click-clack, click-clack, click-clack, quarter to two in the morning, a cartoon hooker in a quiet town asleep but for the workmen and various straying drunks.

She gives up on finding the hotel on the long street by herself, settles down in a doorway, and rings directory assistance on the mobile. Has to call twice, as she didn't have a pen out the first time, and didn't know the directory number for direct connections. She scratches the hotel number on a packet of cigarette papers, and makes the call. It rings out. She pauses for a moment, discards despair, chooses resoluteness, redials. This time, an answer, and she discovers the hotel is at the OTHER end of town. Careful of the shoe with no grip, she resurrects her towering hooker character, and swings back the way she came.

She hears a group of drunk men behind her. She keeps up her own pace, rapid small steps on the platform stillies, and slowly outdistances them. She passes two boys dressed in school uniforms sitting in a doorway, overhearing "This drug is make of pure chemical", as she passes. She doesn't look at them, but knows they are looking at her. She smiles at the adventure of being a hooker walking through town to a ritzy hotel after 2 in the morning.

She finds the rubber sole of her shoe where the cab had dropped her, and continues down to the hotel. She wonders if her customer is still waiting for her. The swipe card lets her into the lobby, works in the lift, and opens the room door, but for the internal catch chain.

The man is surprised, he thought she wasn't coming, but he invites her in as he undoes the chain. She explains the reason for the delay, and asks what he wants to do, given that he may not still be in the mood. He's still in the mood, he insists, and invites her to join him in the shower he was about to have. As she is undressing, he passes the money to her without her having to ask for it, the amount as agreed in their brief negotiation on the street.

He has nearly finished showering by the time she is naked but for her hat. She had shaved her head a week ago, and was a little shy of shocking a big man in a strange hotel room, so she wore her red beret into the shower compartment, offering to soap his back for him.

With a little goodwill, one thing leads to another, and soon he was giving her a fabulous hand job in the shower, as she arches her head back and silently screams "I LOVE this job!"

He hadn't been sure of his capacity to perform, he'd told her, as he'd been drinking for hours, but he was cooperative, and she was enthusiastic, so he managed to project the turgidity she required to pound her G-spot well and truly in a jolly good round of rogering. He said he wasn't sure if she was faking, but she was convincing. She replied that it was easier to just enjoy it than to fake it, and continued throwing herself into it with gusto.

Her hat came off once or twice in the boisterous manoevres, but she simply grabbed it and put in back on without comment.

She finished him off without the condom, by hand, in her favourite jerking off position, with his penis where hers had once been between her legs, and it was just like jerking off as a teenage boy, except her penis was now upside down, but it worked as dependably and ecstatically, and in a very brief time he was spent in her happy hands.

He just wanted to sleep now, so she quickly showered and took her leave, stockings in hand bag, high heels in hand, cunt happily glowing, and she swanned out of the hotel lobby knowing that she looked too much like a hooker in a movie for anyone to think that's what she actually was.

She decided not to waste money on a cab back. A fifteen minute walk was worth saving ten bucks to her, and she didn't want to waste any of her gladly-gotten gains.

Click-clack, click clack, on the slippery shoe, up from this corner of town, across Hyde Park, and back to the bicycle parked on William Street. She accepted being a one-bang wonder, that's the price she paid for throwing herself so much into each job, and she was still glowing as she saddled up and began the half-hour ride home at 4 in the morning.

Actually, she was glowing for DAYS. A most profitable and grand adventure indeed.

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