walk in the park
it's a dawdle
a piano has been playing on ABCNews24 now, and i've appreciated the soothing effects, and i'm not even going to wonder where the news has gone
i can't stop crying
i cried in church, i cried on the ride home, i don't even know why
apparently jesus's last public statement, before all the going off to get nailed up kerfuffle, was about the widow who gave her all, though it was but a couple of coins, it was all she had to live on, it was her means of living, her life, that she gave
and, as the minister explained this in this morning's homily, I immediately imagined myself winning the case tomorrow, and being shot on the steps of the court by some rabid fundy.
and i should just bloody well get over myself, for even if i am successful in this legal case, I am just the one chosen for the case by others who are working much harder for social justice in this area, and just one of many people who have furthered social justice in the courts, and one of many more who further social justice by whatever means and with or without any social profile about this
and this is not them, but me, here, now, the day before
but this is not just me, but also them in me, here now, and forever, in both directions
always was, always will be
you can touch me and yet not feel me
but when i think of you, i feel you in my mind
i can do this
i don't "know" the outcome, whether it be another legal nicety, another court date, a delayed judgment, a legal triumph, or a call for legal reform, but my experience with the law has taught me that more often than not, what appears to be the totally logical course of action, is totally abandoned.. no, hang on, i can see the projection here... it is me who is abandoned.. But my point is, when it comes to the law, i cannot reliably predict when what will happen... um, isn't that quantum mechanics.. yeah, ok, second Bloody Mary is doing its job...
I've pretty much stopped crying, and i feel far less nervous now, thank you ethanol, the makers of ethanol, and the makers of my neurolinguistic-chemical whatchamaycallit-ness, thank you , thank you all, be nice to each other, and to your selves